The Exit Strategy - Act 2 Part 8

Gay, Straight or Something Else?

My Drama School girlfriend, Connie, and me, wearing a big flouncy neckerchief that my dad had bought for me as part of a suit he picked out, 1978.

My last year at home was marked by tension. My father and I were at odds, and it became clear that he wanted me out. He told me I’d broken his rules—and honestly, he wasn’t wrong. Over the years, I had developed a sense of resentment, having spent much of my youth in isolation, either with foster families or in my own home, never able to have friends over or feel truly connected.

He got particularly upset when I told him I had lost my virginity with Kristy Nederveen, in my own bedroom. I think I said something like, “Well, I lost my virginity in this house—where else should I have done it? On the street?” He lost his temper and told me he wanted me out. I told him I was already making moves to leave, and by May, I would be gone. I was 18 and needed to carve my own path.

My exit strategy was to blurt out my feelings without a filter, speaking m…